“When someone in need tries to push you away, that’s when you need to try even harder to hold on tight.”

-Sister Maggie, a nun, talking about Daredevil’s alter ego.

Being a nun, priest (of any religion), social worker, counselor,  or a caregiver of any type is one of the hardest jobs on the planet, hands down.  Rewarding, yes, but difficult.  You can compare it to parenting, but it’s not the same.  Kids are thankless, unreasonable, demanding, helpless, and often break the rules and hurt themselves and others just because the rules are there to break.  But they are children, and they don’t and shouldn’t know better.  Children have much to learn by definition, and their mistakes and sins are to be expected.

Caregivers for adults deal with exactly the same thing, from people who should know better.  Adults who have the time and experience they need to distinguish what they should do and how they should act behave like the children who have no reason to know better.  We care for children out of love, no doubt, but we also do it instinctually because they need us.  We care for adults out of love, and often with thoughts like “why don’t you just grow a pair and _______,” or “if you would swallow your pride and _________, all of this would go away!” bouncing around in our heads, and Lord forbid they ever come out of our mouths.

It’s one thing to care for an adult who is thanking you, but when they don’t want your help… When they really don’t want it and “tell” you about it, that’s when they need it, right?  People who want attention will call for it, but people in pain push others away.

My wife was having an awful day a while ago and said something to the tune of

“Everyone and everything is annoying right now.”

“I’m here to talk when you want to.” I replied.

“… That’s annoying, too.”

She’s right, right?  When you hurt, helpful people make you want to throw your hands up and scream, but you need them.

We all need someone who is willing to take our punches and not run off to lick wounds.  Sometimes when we are angry, we don’t need an ear to speak to.  We need a punching bag.  That’s not healthy all the time but it is necessary some of the time, and as part-time caregivers (read: socially responsible creature) I think all of us have to prepare to fill that role at any given moment.

Times come when we need to let people swing at us so we can get close enough to hurt with them for a while.

Another rabbit hole explored.  Thanks, Daredevil writers.

Meow again,

~M