Three men pause ’round a dying fire,

Their red eyes burn redder in the quiet.

Two have lost some dear thing long admired,

No tears remain behind their eyes.

One of these men has had a fill of grief,

He departs to be happy and different.

Another man cannot yet leave,

The last man doesn’t want to.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but doesn’t it feel good to be sad sometimes?  Have you ever had the sensation in a moment of grief where, it felt like, you could just get up and stop if you wanted to?  I have.

Isn’t it surreal to think that we might find comfort in settling into unrest?  A lot of science supports it (here’s a Blurb I found informative and easy to read about that in case you want to check me) but the counterintuitivity doesn’t fade.

Recently, I’ve been examining the possibility that, in our search for a purpose ( to feed our ego, not to do good) we find solace in an emotion that feels solidly legitimate.  Sadness rarely feels illegitimate, especially in a culture that derives authenticity from victimhood.  Many people close to me have confided that they don’t feel worthy of happiness.  Responsibilities, memories, or even the awareness of other poorer situations somewhere in the world invariably cut off those brief rays of happy sunlight too soon, like a fish obsessed with bubbles.

It’s a cute way of putting it, but the concept is disturbing.   If I’m right, there are people who don’t fail at seeking happiness but fail to seek happiness.

Let the reader understand:  I believe it is a failure to not participate in the pursuit of happiness.  Does that mean I think a person should be happy all the time or become a failure? No, not even close.  Do I mean that a person should be constantly trying to be happy? Again, no.  That would be unreasonable and unrealistic.

This is probably a good time to distinguish between happiness and Joy.  I think people should live a joyful life.

What is Joy?  Put as simply as possible:  A joyful person accepts failure and leans toward satisfaction.  That person cries, screams, experiences terror and anguish like all of us, but they look for happy thoughts in a difficult time.  Most importantly, a joyful person rejects the lingering embrace of sadness.  It feels good to be sad, and it is healthy to be sad, but we have to move forward and a person can only recover so much from crying it out.  A time comes when a person needs to muster the energy to get up and start moving again despite the lingering pain.

If you are aware of the option to pick yourself up and dust yourself off, then you have the option to do so.

I don’t mean to sound harsh, because picking one’s blue self up takes a lot of effort and I’m aware of that.  I would like everyone to accept, though, that healing and growth are always an option.  Moving forward is never off the table, even if it is sitting in front of you in a form you didn’t expect, recognize, or, conceivably, want.  You have the choice to move forward out of sadness and though the time is not always right to do so, the time does come so don’t settle in too deeply!

As always, I could go on forever.  However, I’d love to know what other people think about this.  Do you agree with me?  Disagree?

I want a different perspective,

~M